Half way there

We are currently half way there!!! I hit my 20 week mark this past Saturday. I still am not really showing, although the belly is starting to pooch out. I am starting to feel more movement as the day goes on. Before I was really only able to feel the little one move at night when I had sat down and started to relax. I had a really icky dream last night about the baby and so my nerves have been a little on edge today and I have been worrying about everything...I hadnt been feeling much movement since last night and on my way home from work, I got a nice kick. I guess that was the little one's way of saying "hey mom, I am still here and doing good."

Oct 21st can not get here fast enough. I am so ready to find out if we are having a boy or a girl. I am really leaning towards boy-no big reason other than a hunch. My parents think its a little girl, but I think its just because they want a granddaughter so bad LOL

On the 22nd of this month, I will be assisting our students at the Smart Hospital...they will be learning to find the babys heartbeat and feeling around on my belly to get a feel for everything. This should be very interesting!! But I am excited to help out in anyway I can!!

19 Weeks tomorrow!!!

Man oh man does time fly!! It seems like just the other day we were staring at the home pregnancy test with it screaming PREGNANT back at us. We found out so early, I thought it would take forever to get to the almost halfway point. We have had two appointments, and thus far everything is great!!! We have heard the heart beat at both appointments, and the 2nd time around it was much stronger. I have been feeling lots of movement lately, but its generally late at night when I am sitting down trying to relax.

We will have the BIG ultrasound on October 21st. I am so excited I cant wait!!

2nd Trimester

WOOHOOO I finally made it. I honestly didn't think I would get here. Between the worry of miscarriage and time moving SO slow...But by the grace of God, we are here!! I think I finally got over my aversion to dairy. I can now eat all the ice cream I want LOL. Although I am coming into the stage now where the smell of things are starting to make me sick. Wonderful hubby of mine was eating pizza combos today and when I leaned in for a kiss, I about lost it. Sorry hubby!!! I ate a cheese puff the other night and it tasted like a marshmallow instead of a chip! yikes ;)

My mom and dad are SO excited about this baby!! We went up to KS for a visit and came back with a trunk full of baby stuff! Not complaining by any means...it is a wonderful blessing to have such amazing parents. My whole family is really excited! Hubby's family is I think just as excited, they just don't show it.

No one told me this...

OK, so when women dream of getting pregnant, they know 1 thing for sure. Labor is going to hurt like h***. But what no one told you (me) is that pregnancy HURTS!!! The stretching of every thing inside your body hurts!! Right now I am 8 weeks and 2 days. I get winded walking up from my parking lot to my office...AHH. OK, by no means am I in shape, but since I have lost 38lbs (YEA ME!!!) it has gotten a whole heck of a lot easier walking to my office. I have not been winded in a LONNNNNGGGG time. This morning wasn't too bad, but last week, I thought I would pass out once I got to the elevator, yikes.

Right now things are going good. I have been extremely blessed with no morning (all day) sickness. I have found that I cant drink milk or dairy products. They make me VERY sick. So I have switched to Lactaid Milk, and surprisingly it isn't bad at all. I ate cereal yesterday and was just fine!! Woohoo. Now if I can just find a substitute for ice cream. Thats all I crave (yes, I do believe the cravings have set in). Snow Cones while they are yummy, it just doesn't do the job of wonderful Ben and Jerry's.

This isn't pregnancy related, but I need prayers for my daddy. He was taken to the ER and staying over night due to High Blood Pressure. He is having a Stress Test today.

Surprise!!!

I'm sure if you have read some of my previous posts Brian and I have been trying (on and off) to have a baby. Well, we are PREGNANT!! Shocking I know, there are moments throughout the day that I still wonder if its real. We found out on June 13, 2010 with a positive blood test on the 14th. Our Expected Due Date will be Feb. 19, 2011...I am really praying that this baby will make sure it doesn't come on Valentines day. I really dont want it to share a birthday with a holiday, well if you can really consider V-day a "holiday."

I will be 8 weeks on Saturday 7/10/10. Things so far are going pretty good. I haven't really had any problems with morning sickness. I do get waves of nausea throughout the day, but I have noticed if I munch on something, I generally do OK.

I figured that this might be the best way for me to keep those updated that I may not talk to on a daily/weekly basis. Family and Friends who live out of state.

2009 Trying but not really

OK, I said I would write about 2009 and our year of trying, but not really trying. I am going to lump the who year into one post-just because there really isn't a lot to tell.

After hubby lost his job in Dec. of 2008 we couldn't afford to go to the RE, which was a total bummer. We did get a lot of great advice and learned about a lot of things. So we just started taking it day by day and I learned a little about charting, and temping, using preseed. A friend sent me some, and we didn't use it in a regular basis, but I really like the stuff, and its the only type of lubrication that wont hinder the little swimmers. I did a lot of praying and had my ups and downs, and still do. I know that no matter what infertility I face, there is NOTHING that God cant do, fix or have control over. This is what I cling to on a daily basis. Especially when I see 13 and 14 yr old girls getting pregnant. That is something really difficult, or those mothers who already have 5 kids and get pregnant by some random dude. Yea those days are some of the most difficult. I have days that I feel that God is telling me I wont be a good mom, and thats why I deal with this, then there are other days that I am OK with it?!?! I think it just really depends on my hormone surge that day. I did have a total breakdown the other week. I was home alone, the step-daughter was gone for the weekend and the hubby was at work. I just was having a crappy day. So I placed a text to my BFF and chatted a little. I want so badly to have a good relationship with the SD (step-daughter), and a child of my own. I want what my mom and I have. Yea we have bad days, but I can call her for anything. I am craving that type of relationship, and it sucks that SD wont come to me. I am old, dont understand, etc. She feels that she is SO smart she can figure things out on her own, but doesn't realize just how immature she still is.

OK, so I veered off the path of midwife, pregnancy, etc. Sorry!! Lets get back on track. So for 8 months we just went on as normal, I ended up stopping my charting and temping. For one, it got really difficult, and two the cats made off with my thermometer. I have had this pain on my right side, down around my ovary for probably a year if not more. I went through sonograms, exams, etc. and even consulted a general surgeon to find out what this pain was. I mean were talking doubling over in pain it would hurt so bad. I went to my obgyn and told her that we had to do something. Since no one could figure this thing out, she had to. She explained since I have the endo, she suggests Lupron. After watching my Best Friend do the Lupron and send her body through hell, I said no thank you. She said if I did the Lupron and it got rid of the pain, then we would know that it was definitely the endo. I still disagreed and opted for the surgery. August 28, 2009 I had my second laparoscopic surgery. Needless to say, the Lupron would not have worked. My uterus was attached to my bowels. So now I know what was causing the incredible pains I was having. Its now Jan 2010 and I have not really had any problems with the pain, outside of having horrendous cramps each month. Oh and while she was doing the separation of uterus/bowel, she also did my HSG, so the insurance covered all of it. I learned that I have one good tube and one partially blocked tube. Hrumph! So there is my trials with conceiving. Endometriosis, PCOS, and a partially blocked tube.....God is in control, and he knows the desires of my heart!

Up next: Midwifery/Doula/Business of being born

A little history

In this post, I will explain a little on me, and why I am searching for a midwife (which I kinda did in my first post). I will apologize now if I repeat things or I get long winded, etc. I have a tendency to do that =)

It all really started back in Oct 2008. I was about a week late....didnt know what to think or to do-I called the hubby and told him. Voiced my concerns and worries, etc and he convinced me to go to the Dr. just to make sure. Well I did, and of course the test came back negative. I was disappointed to say the least. This kinda kick started the "trying" phase. We talked and decided that we were going to try for a baby....exciting, scary, nerve racking, etc. Knowing that I had been diagnosed with endometrosis in 2006 and PCOS in 2007 (?) it was going to be a challenge. We sought out an RE (reproductive endocrinologist). After hours of searching online I found one that I wanted to meet. Dr. Barry Jacobs, http://texasfertility.com/ A wonderful wonderful man. Hubby went with me to our first appointment/exam. It was weird and wonderful at the same time. Most of the time when you go to the OBGYN, hubbies sit in the waiting room, if they even go with you. Not this one, he was in the room as Dr. Jacobs did my exam. It took tension right out of the room. I would recommend this to all women-take your hubby with you (if he can handle it-which Im blessed, mine can). So, we did a trans-vaginal ultrasound, a pelvic exam and lots of fun poking and prodding-LOL HAHA. He then took us to his office, and spent an additional 45 min with us. Explained everything about my two conditions, what hubbies medications do to his swimmers, etc. It was definitely a huge benefit for us. We had agreed to keep seeing him and he would do my HSG (Hysterosalpingogram). For anyone who doesnt know what that is:

A hysterosalpingogram, or HSG is an important test of female fertility potential. The HSG test is a radiology procedure usually done in the radiology department of a hospital or outpatient radiology facility.

• Radiographic contrast (dye) is injected into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix.
  
  
• The uterine cavity fills with dye and if the fallopian tubes are open, dye fills the tubes and spills into the abdominal cavity

Now, Dr. Jacobs was not covered by my insurance so we were cash pay. Not a problem, until Dec 2008 when we were scheduling the HSG, Hubby lost his great paying job. RATS!!!! And thus began our time out on trying with the help of an RE. We just couldn't afford it anymore. Very disappointing, and frustrating-but after time to really pray about this, I understood (again) that everything happens in Gods time, not ours.

Next post: 2009 and trying but not really trying.....

The search begins

I am starting this blog, so that I can look back and remember the whole process.

Where to begin...I am searching for a midwife. Hubby and I are trying to have a baby....dealing with many problems in this area, so it is a daily struggle for me. With that being said, it was suggested to me that I seek out a midwife. Now when this was suggested to me, I wasn't really sure what a midwife was, what she/he did, etc. So thus my search began, but before I started searching, I watched The Business of Being Born (http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/), man oh man was this an eye opener. This really sealed the deal for me, I do not want a Dr. telling me what I can't do, what I have to do, etc. For thousands of years, women had babies at home without Drs., hospitals, c-sections, etc. I am taking control over my body and my birth. God created a womans body such a way that it is perfect for childbearing. You just have to listen to it, and understand it. You cant listen to your body when you are laying in a bed with your legs in an unnatural position with lights glaring down at you and people yelling at you to push and/or breath. I also have come to the decision that I want a water birth as well as a home birth. I called my mom and told her of my revelation, thinking that she would be excited and happy, but those arent exactly the words I would use to describe her tone on the phone that day. It was more of "um, are you crazy" kind of thing. I explained how I wanted a home birth and everything that went along with it, and never really got any response other than silence...and a couple of OK's....Not exactly what I was expecting. OK, so lets leave mom out of this for now, until we can chat more about it and get more response/understanding from her.

Sooo, At this point, I started researching who, what, how, etc. Oh boy was this overwhelming. So many women, so many ideas...once again, didn't really know where to begin. I started taking it one day/idea at a time. I found a website for midwives, here in TX. www.texasmidwives.com/ This really helped. It narrowed down the midwives that would service my county. OK, so that's done. Now, who do I choose????? I checked with my insurance, and surprise surprise, they only cover a midwife who is a Nurse Practitioner....and there arent too many out there. I checked out several other websites, http://www.midwife.org/, http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/midwives.html. Lots and lots of information to swallow. Taking all of this in, I went back to the local midwives in my area and began to email them. I chose about 4 different ones to ask to meet with. Hubby and I have met with two so far, and still working on appts with the other two...but more on that in my next post. Its late for now and I am wiped out.